Praetor

Two weeks ago my wife went for the lumpectomy. The agonizing pain was gone, although the pain from the op was still bad. Today the results came.

I learned a few things about doctors. They are just human. It seems to me they have greater difficulty facing the possibility of cancer than the patient. Perhaps they are fearful of being taken to court for making a wrong diagnosis. They are vague and try to create some sense of hope for the patient. My wife’s “personal doctor” at the hospital said the biopsy was diagnosed as cancer. The surgeon said we can’t be sure until a lumpectomy was done. See … that spark of hope.

Then the results of the lumpectomy comes. We look with abated breath at the doctor. “The lump was very fragmented” (well, after all the biopsies it must be) “and the conclusion inconclusive”. “But doctor what did they say, was the lump malignant”, my wife asks. (Seeing that you ask so directly I am forced to give you a direct answer). “Yes, it is malignant”. When he has to use the big C word, he uses the medical term, carcinoma. He consults with the surgeon who did the op. “We will have to do a mastectomy”.

My wife and I have discussed this over the past two weeks. If her life depended on it, she would have a mastectomy, but only after all other options were exhausted. We informed the doctor accordingly. “How long will she live?” “What if she dies?” He asks.
Does this doctor have a fear of death? Is he projecting his fears onto us? Upon our request we were referred to oncology. At least we will get a second opinion now from somebody that will consider other options than merely lobbing off limbs.

My wife and I am at peace. We know it is a difficult road ahead, but the Master Weaver is in charge.