Praetor

The big day of the mastectomy was 12 days ago. Everything went smooth. Now its only learning to live with the after effects of which one will be the results of the tests on the axillary glands. The other reminds me of a Bible verse that I have always found intriguing … and faithfully practised:

“Drink water from your own cistern,

And fresh water from your own well. …

Let them be yours alone,

And not for strangers with you. …

Let your fountain be blessed,

And rejoice in the wife of your youth.

As a loving hind and a graceful doe,

Let her breasts satisfy you at all times,

Be exhilarated always with her love.” (Proverbs 5 verses15,17,18-19).

Now after D-day it has taken on new meaning. Instead of two fawns feeding among the lilies, there is only one standing next to an ugly ridge cutting across a big flat space (excuse the pun). It is one thing to look at the flatness covered by nighties, but the first time I had to clean the wound and dress it for my wife, it was different to face the naked reality.

Suddenly you discover that beauty goes further than skin deep. She is still the wife of my youth in which I delight! My youngest son cannot think, or understand that I find his mother’s legs, covered with varicose veins, sexy. You see when I look at them I see the same sexy legs of the wife of my youth. After the op. she dyed her hair a light copper red. Now I am all over in love with the wife of my youth. When I met her she had copper toned hair when the sunrays caught it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

But the most attractive about her is that disarming smile and her sparkling eyes. They augment the softness of her personality. Nothing of this has changed. She is still the same person even without the twins of a gazelle (- just one fawn).

At last we came to a doctor that is not fearful. She works with cancer patients every day of her life. She has probably made peace with death. What a wonderful fresh breeze.

The oncologist referred us to the “cancer hospital”  in a neighbouring city to have a bone scan done and to get a second opinion. Or perhaps to persuade us to accept the inevitable? First my wife was made radioactive. They even put a sticker to that effect on her file! Then after two hours she went for the scan. We praise the Master Weaver that her bones are clear of cancer.

The female doctor explained to us the situation. The cancer was not completely removed, when the lumpectomy was done. It has invaded the ducts and veins in the surrounding areas, which is a bad sign. It is a type 3 cancer, which is a more aggressive type. Breast cancer has the bad habit of hiding away. Before the lump was removed they did not inject a dye into the cancerous lump to see if it has spread to the axilla glands and you will not tell if it has spread by physical examination. Therefore it is best to do a mastectomy and remove the axilla glands.

How different to receive all the relevant information and make an informed decision! The abhorrent idea of just removing her breast (for fun?) has been disarmed. Both my wife and myself are at peace about this inevitable development. In a week’s time she will know the date of the operation. We are so thankful we did not just accept the verdict of the surgeon, but asked to consult the oncologist who wanted to be sure of the situation so that we don’t start treating one condition, but ignorant of another hidden condition. (We learnt this lesson with our daughter’s dislocated hip that was operated on when she was 5 months old. We did what the doctors said without asking for a second opinion. As a result she was left brain damaged. But even 33 years later she still is a blessing to us). The oncologist repeatedly said we must do it right the first time.