Have you watched the movie Fireproof? A great movie that really speaks to one about relationships and your marriage relationship in particular. In the movie the main character is given the Love Dare. It is a book that gives the 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love. In other previous posts I have shared some of my own insights, but this is really a challenge, which I would love to share with you.
Stephen & Alex Kendrick give some of the purposes of marraige, but then leave this bombshell: “Marriage also shows us our need to grow and deal with our own issues and self-centeredness through the help of a lifelong partner.”
This is not quite the way I was looking at my partner. I saw her more in terms of the one satisfying my needs, putting demands on me that I have to fulfill if I want the relationship to work. But that is rather selfish, isn’t it?
She must grow up and come to terms with my issues as much as I have to tolerate hers. Now I am challenged to come to terms with my own issues through her. Oh boy, do I have issues. I think that will take a lifetime to deal with! And I was blaming it on her all the time.
This just made me realise that if I am not prepared to honestly face myself I need to do one of two things. Get out of the relationship immediately or throw the book The Love Dare in the fire. Ignorance is bliss, they say. But otherwise it is going to be one long hard look.
Are people today prepared to face themselves honestly, openly?
Recently I was part of a church group that was picking up rubbish and trash in a poor neighbourhood. I did not know that bending down for two and a half hours, sitting on my hunches from time to time could be so exhausting!
At one point some of the children came to help us and later a few adults also joined in. It was great that members of the community were prepared to take some responsibility for their surroundings. I noticed a number of things. Firstly, the people clean their yards very neatly, but outside in the street is a different story. People don’t care what they throw in the street. Somebody else has to pick that up. They don’t care if any cost is involved.
Lastly, I want to share an incident. A man walked by and was trying to incite the children to claim payment for the “work” they were doing. Then it struck me. We live in a society that doesn’t do anything for free or for the sake of patriotism or for charity.
Take the soccer teams representing their countries. They get paid for representing their country. From time to time you hear of teams threatening to go on strike because the pay is too little for their liking. If we want them to win we must offer them lucrative incentives.
My friend, who was hijacked a few years ago, is paraplegic and was dependent on someone to help him upload and download his wheelchair from his small truck. In town he had to pay the people to do this menial task for him. If he did not pay them sufficiently enough to their liking they just pass him by and ignore him. This was so demeaning to him that he installed an apparatus that would hoist his wheelchair up and down. Now he can be independent and save face.
You are travelling to town. Someone in your neighbourhood is asking for a lift. Some people would only do it if he pays a handsome fee.
What has become of our society? Or is your experience differently?